Game On

I have always enjoyed sports, games and other avenues of friendly competition. I must admit, though, that these can be places that reveal just how far short from God’s character I still am. I can think of far too many times in the past when the “friendly” part of the competition all but disappeared and my attitude stole the joy of the game. I recently came across a section in Basil Pennington’s book Centering Prayer that reveals what is at the heart of this battle:

Most of us have to struggle with a very poor self-image—sometimes more, sometimes less. Negative attitudes toward ourselves have been programmed into us by negative feedback from parents, teachers, and others all along the course of our lives. In many cases, we have tried to hide this even from ourselves by the false self-image we have constructed—that fragile thing that calls for much defensive care. In other cases we let the negativity dominate much of our sense of self.

When we can realize that all such judgments are being made in the light of false norms, false evaluations of what truly constitutes our worth as human persons, we can let those negative judgments and feelings go. When we experience our true beauty and worth in God’s creative and adoptive love, the negativity we are tempted to feel about ourselves melts away and gives place to joy and freedom. Secure in our own true worth, we no longer need to be competitive or jealous or stand on the head of the other to bolster our slumping ego. We can stand in the crowed and not be lost, because we know we are uniquely the object of a divine Love (126-27).

This makes sense. In the barrage of our performance-driven culture, we grasp the most fragile foundations on which to ground some sense of self-worth. Pennington reveals a more secure footing—the immeasurable Love of the Father, Son and Spirit. So I long for this God to reveal himself in such a way that I increasingly find my worth simply in being the object of His delight. As he himself has said, “God’s pleasure is not in the strength of the horse, nor his delight in the speed of a runner; but the Lord delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love” (Psalm 147:10-11).